Wednesday, September 08, 2004
help me God.
i just cant hold on no more.
forgive me.
For the one concerned.
You identitie will be annomous.
But, everyone know.
forgive me.
this is for u.
2 years. haiz. i cant blame myself for letting u go just like that. i guess that was the only solution i had. selfish? maybe. but did i actuallie have a choice? It was hard for me too. especially for me. to let go of sumone i trusted. someone i came to
love. the only one i reallie depended on. but i couldnt take it. i felt so trapped. vacuummed. i had to retrieve control of my life. my emotions. i remember leaving u a voice msg but i cannot recall its content. all i know is that i told u good bye. i walked out of that friendship with memories that will forever be in my head and some
gifts u left me with.
i still hate it when
people mention u.
dont get me wrong now. i dun want u back in my life. i dont regret letting u go. but i just miss u. as shocking as it may be. i've come to wonder abt u.like..
how are u? and
how'z ur famili and
ur frens? those cliche qn that frens ask after a long time..i also wonder what would i do if i were to bump into u one dae. should i smile? will u smile? do u wanna talk? do u wanna know what i've been up too? how abt a simple hi in a mime? acknowledgement? any of that? do u even think of me in the first placE?
i remember about a year ago. when i saw u back at tk. on teachers dae. i had this feeling in my stomach. i was constantlie stealing glances of u. watching u smile. made me feel relief that u are fine. how u changed. a lot. but yeah i was still making passing remarks..everyone was. well, everyone meaning my frens.but.....
gosh i dunow what to say.just that if u were by any strange way, bump into this blog.i jus wanna know.i miss u and i just wanna know..
to my sayang,i know these things seem too vague for u to actually comprehen what happened. but no one actuallie know everything. But it doesnt matter anymore. We are together now. and will be till forever.and from the start i fought hard to be with u. i guess thats how fate brought us togther. let it be by suffering but at least we are together now. i love u dear. i went thru a lot just to have a chance with u. hope that tells u enough. Everything worked out rite? u to me are everything...
my bestfren,subhan.gosh, no one knows what u went thru for me. non of ur frens n non of mine. u were there. an sms and a call away. u would spend ur time consoling me whenver i'm down. and u, suffered with me as well. thank u. u saved me.
sal,remember that time when i told u what happened at bedok mac? and u cried? we cried. and remember u wrote me a letter filleed with anger of ur oblivion? yeah i still have it. i love u. i'm sorry. love u dear.
wani,the shock on ur face when i told u i miss her expressed a million wordS!!it was hillariouslie funny.btw, thank u dear. especially that particular day. when i was crying my eye balls out at the staircase. and u came and sat right beside me. u were there for me. u might not remember that incident but i do appreciate it.
and everyone else.thank u. mal, u saw me at my worst. and cheered me up everytime. fana, always there. reallie.the malay mats aka as zam's fren. thanx for sharing my hatred for her.
maybe i'm just being lame. emo emo emo. but "its just emotions taking me over.." you know sometimes u do the right thing. but that doesnt mean there wouldnt be consequences. and that consequence will definatlie affect u. well, the consequences of my action is showing now. i shalt not be weaken by this. not anymore. but hey, i told u.i dun regret what i did.
i dont regret letting u go.
