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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

from the start, i warned myself. but the more i stayed away, the closer i got. and the closer i got, the more i feared but yet, i was always there. but being there made me want to run away in fear of hurting myself again. And here i am, drawn closer than ever before, trying to let go. The more i try, the longer i hold on.

i think the thing that made my day wasnt the fact that there were adorable lil kids dancing in the concert. Neither was it because the china scholars were so darn talented. It wasnt the fact that i spent half of the day with a few of my friends. It was also not because i apologised. But i guess it was going home all by myself without anyone bugging me with calls or sms-s. I think i just needed that time alone. For myself to rest and relaks. i think this pass week was filled withtoo much drama n sarcasm. But i was glad that i found someone who share quite a similar pain. ~at the rate we are going..we wouldnt have frens~? yeah. nothing matters anymore. i'm sick n tired of watching what i say in fear of hurting people and i'm sorry to those who have been affected. seriously, forgive me. i'm no one to say whether or not u guys deserve this treatment. but well, i'm no plastic anymore. i'm just giving up. u are being treated on how u treat me. someone said to me "Jc frens are not worth keeping". enjoy

from wad i get from mal, she said she has never seen me this nice before. yeah. the school's environment changed me. for the better? mal, i dunno. i was never nice but this bunch of ppl made me think that they were. haha. this school's student cannot be screamed at. they do not comprehen the word "anger" or "pain". they just know "pms" and "moodswing". haha. thanxx to am n mal for being there for me when i needed someone other den schoolmates. thanxx.

just keep swimming..just keep swimming..just keep swimming swimming swimming..

actually, i'm just ranting out whatever that comes to mind. so yes. its 3 in the morning. i kinda miss tk days. at least then, i had ppl who bothered. oh yes, gong xi fa cai to mal, fellow 2a06 and to all cina ppl who's reading. hope this year brings prosperity n love to all of u.

ps: maths test was lame ok.

3:03:00 am

Anahraf El Diab
I wish i could say that i'm unique and different but that would be a lie. from my mom, i stole her features, her attitude and 1/5 of her strength. i kinda ripped of my dad's hairstyle and that obviously isnt a choice. i think i would be a fashion disaster or a real girly girl if it werent for my brother and thank god for that. at the same time, i would have been naive and maybe a boy if it werent for my sister. hur hur. the rest of me, i picked it up somewhere along the way thru my 19 years old journey and that is what u gotta find out.


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